


Tomorrow, Today

by baekkieony



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Fluff and Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Poetic, Sad, Triggers, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, heavy topic, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 23:09:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13774569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekkieony/pseuds/baekkieony
Summary: Today won't be like tomorrow, but tomorrow can't be any different of today too.





	Tomorrow, Today

**Author's Note:**

> i hope i offended no one with this. i never experienced cancer myself, but had friends and family who had to live through it (gladly, the most made it). this isn't written to insult anyone or to make fun of cancer, but hopefully something that will make you understand my hurt and how much it is sometimes better to let go instead of hold on.

"Can you hear it? Can you hear it, Hyung?", an overly excited Yugyeom is running towards Jinyoung, screaming at the top of his lungs. Jinyoung has to smile at the sight, eyes crinkling up in crescent moons, handsome face for a moment relaxed. When the smaller four years old jumps into his arms, he closes his arms around him, safe and warm, burying his head into Yugyeom's neck. "Hyung!", Yugyeom can't stop wiggling in his arms and Jinyoung lets him down again, laughing at his behaviour.

For a moment, Yugyeom looks right up into Jinyoung's eyes, brown meeting brown, cookie into chocolate and it feels like Jinyoung is melting far away. "The Ice Man is coming!", Yugyeom laughs at him, but Jinyoung doesn't react, too lost in his own world of admiration for Yugyeom.  
  
"Hyung, you aren't listening!", when Yugyeom realizes that Jinyoung isn't listening, he pouts and stomps with his small feet on the ground. "I want ice cream!", Jinyoung has to shake himself out of his world, a nod of his head seemingly enough for Yugyeom to smile again and to run towards the ice cream car, dragging Jinyoung with him. The 7 year old looks confused for a second, before realizing that he now has to pay for Yugyeom's ice cream too.  
  


____________________

"Honey? Honey, you have to wake up now, or you'll be late for school"

Jinyoung wakes up to his mother standing at his bed, trying to get him alive and to school, before he runs late for the third time this week. He can't allow himself to be late when Mrs. Kim teaches, she's hell itself.

While he hurries to get himself ready, his mother is making breakfast for him and scolding him for staying up so late again to skype with Yugyeom. "This will make you sick one day!", she yells from the kitchen and Jinyoung just sighs at the remark, used to it since it has been like this for eight months now.

Before he leaves the house, she gives him a peck on the cheek and he just nods at her, before running to the bus station to catch the bus, as always. The driver is always waiting for him a little longer nowadays, he's gotten used to Jinyoung's routine a long time ago, too.

When he catches the bus, he chooses a place at the window, plugging his headphones in and trying to forget the world for a second, missing Yugyeom next him.

When he hears the first tones from sweater weather, he turns the volume up and smiles, handsome face turning towards the window. He can't wait to get home today and skype with Yugyeom again.

____________________

"Hey", Jinyoung smiles at the screen.

"Hi, Hyung", Yugyeom smiles back.

It is silent for a while. Jinyoung knows something is wrong, put he can't quite place a finger on it.

It's not that everything has been "great" or "okay" lately. Nothing has been okay since he got that diagnose. Literally nothing. He had to drop out of school to get treatment, he had to go to hospital, he looks sick and sicker, with every day rushing away and Jinyoung still doesn't even know if anything ever will be better again.

So yes, there has been nothing right the past months, but this "wrong" is different. It's not Yugyeom's physical health he is concerned about, it's his mental health.

Jinyoung stares at his fingers, feeling guilty.

  
"I'm so sorry I couldn't come today, my school didn't finish early enough for your visiting hours. But I promise I come to you tomorrow, I really do", Jinyoung do not has the guts to look Yugyeom in the eyes when he tells him that. He can bear the look of sadness in worn out and tired eyes.

Yugyeom's voice is raspy from vomiting and Jinyoung bets that his throat feels sore. "It's fine. I can understand that school is more important".

Jinyoung knows that Yugyeom wants to assure him that he is fine, but his voice, it's so tired and he looks so unnerved and Jinyoung just can't put a finger on what it is.

It's silent again.

Jinyoung looks up from his fingers, into Yugyeom' eyes and he wants to see sparkles and stars, but all he can see is blankness and hopelessness and emptiness. His cheeks look hollow and when he reaches out to try and ruffle Yugyeom's hair through the screen, there is nothing but naked skin on his head.

All cancer left is hollowness.

Yugyeom seems to swallow hard and turns away from the screen.

"You don't need to make a promise you can't keep, Hyung"

Yugyeom turns the screen off and when Jinyoung sees black, he slumps on his bed and cries.

____________________

It's hard to let him go.

Jinyoung throws his rose into the hole, Yugyeom's ash stuffed into a vase and drowned in dirt. Forever in the ground, for eternity.

It was his wish to be burned down to ash. He always said he wants to "win over cancer one time" and burn those cells.

It was not his fault, cancer's no one's fault. It wasn't his fault that it couldn't be cured, but it hurt. It was not his fault that he threw himself from the rooftop. Jinyoung can understand that you do not want to live when you have cancer in the last stadium. Chemotherapy did not help. It made him sick, but that was literally everything.

It hurts. It hurts so incredible much. Jinyoung never imagined that something could hurt so much. He lost his love of his life. Lost everything, but nothing. In the end, he never told Yugyeom. He wanted to slap himself. Everything was more important than Yugyeom; hell, Jinyoung thought he would have a chance.

He hadn't.

Jinyoung slumps down at the grave, little raindrops falling onto his head.

"I promise, I'll be here tomorrow", he whispers through the rain, tears mixing with dirt.

It's hard to let go.

But one day you have to.

"I'll be here", he whispers again, before standing up, "tomorrow".

When he walks away, he smiles a little.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow sounds great.


End file.
